Hop Poodle
Hop Poodle
Hey Little Fella
We have two Poodle dogs and my boys just got two new puppies. The Poodles are inside dogs so it's been my job to let them out of the house first thing in the morning for a while now. Not sure how I got the job. I didn't apply for it, but somehow it's mine. The two new dogs will be outside dogs but since they are puppies they are inside for the time being. This one morning, I stumble out of bed half asleep in my Tweety Bird Boxers and went to let the dogs out. I opened the door and they all ran out like a rocket.
It's not even daylight yet and I haven't turned on any lights. As I turn from the door and start back to bed for just a few more minutes of sleep before I wake completely up, I notice that one of the puppies didn't go out. He's just sitting there in the corner chillin' out, which is very unusual for any dog at 5 a.m. I call him and he doesn't move, just sits there looking at me. So I sleep walk over to the lazy dang thing with one eye open and the other half closed and pick him up to bring him outside.
I said "Hey little fella', you‘ve put on a little weight."
As I go outside and put him down on the ground my eyes begin to adjust but I must be dreaming. I rubbed my eyes and looked again but it's still there. Finally I realize that I had just picked up a dang Opossum!!! What the heck? Then it hisses at me and out of reflex I jump landing in a fresh pile of doggie doo, barefooted. I'm yelling for my wife and everybody ends up standing at the door starring at me thinking I have lost my mind. I'm outside, in my drawers, hopping on my left foot, I got doggie doo on my right, a Opossum is trying to eat me and they want to know what's wrong with me.
"What's wrong with me? A Opossum is trying to eat me, that's what wrong."
Then I pointed to it and the stupid thing is playing dead. Dang it! Melissa is gonna get the straight jacket for sure.
Now, for you guys that just don't get what I am saying, let me break it down for you. I picked up a Opossum! Petted it! Talked to it! Took it out to pee! Then it tries to eat me! Craaaaaaaaaap! This day just got off to a real good start! I'm just sayin'.
About the Author
Wayne "Dr. Philbilly" Carlan writes true funny stories based on life experiences with home spun humor.
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